Decoy

I just wanted you to know, i think about you every night.
and when i fall asleep, you were in my dreams.
just like in a movie, the one you wanna see,
with a happy ending.


I haven't blogged honestly in a very long time. i finally told him the truth, how i really felt and it completely backfired. i thought that we were friends, and the secret was eating at me for almost five months. that's when i decided to send the email, even though everyone was telling me not to. i felt i knew him well enough to finally be honest. although i was shaking when i sent the email, i felt i couldn't start term three without telling him.
he didn't talk to me after i sent the email, ignored me, and made things awkward for the both of us.i thought he wouldn't be the one to avoid the issue. i thought he had some decency.
i promised myself i wouldn't cry.
it hurts that it took me 5 months to send that email, i don't regret it. it was the bravest thing i've had to do in my life.


my trust in people is completely tainted.